It breaks my heart to say that 2 weeks ago, my sweet, beautiful companion Buddy had an aneurysm in her brain and the doctor at the animal hospital told me she would pass away in the next few hours. The aneurysm had caused Buddy to have seizures non-stop the entire time we drove to the hospital, which was around 45 minutes. It was one of the worst things I've ever experienced - me holding my girl on my lap, cradling her head and trying to make sure that she didn't choke on her tongue. I talked to her constantly, trying to soothe her in the hopes that if she relaxed the seizures would stop. At the very least I hope that I comforted her a little bit. She looked awful - her eyes were huge, she was drooling and her poor body just continued to jerk. After all of that, I didn't want her to suffer for one more second. They had gotten the seizures to stop only be giving her valium AND phenobarbital. I wanted her to be put to sleep before the medicine wore off and more seizures started. They brought her into the room that we were in so that I could hold her and talk to her before they gave her the shot. She was very sedated, so all that she did was look at me and blink her eyes slowly. I told her I loved her and that I didn't want her to suffer any more so I was going to let her go. She had brought me so much happiness for 18 years that it was the least I could do.
Now I'm trying to adjust to my life without her. She's been part of my life for so long that everything reminds me of her. I miss her so, so much. I feel an ache in my heart, and I wish so badly that I could hold her again. My other cat, Scully, also misses her tremendously. She looks for Buddy every day and calls out to her with an unusual meow. Scully has spent almost her entire life with Buddy (I found her when she was 8 weeks old), so I'm sure this is confusing to her.
I will write more later in order to pass on information so that hopefully no one else has to go through the same thing. For now I'm just posting to let everyone know why I'm taking a break from this blog. It's too hard to write about it at this time. But I'll be back sometime soon.
Here's my girl, looking as she did more than a year ago, before the disease had really taken it's toll on her.
Now I'm trying to adjust to my life without her. She's been part of my life for so long that everything reminds me of her. I miss her so, so much. I feel an ache in my heart, and I wish so badly that I could hold her again. My other cat, Scully, also misses her tremendously. She looks for Buddy every day and calls out to her with an unusual meow. Scully has spent almost her entire life with Buddy (I found her when she was 8 weeks old), so I'm sure this is confusing to her.
I will write more later in order to pass on information so that hopefully no one else has to go through the same thing. For now I'm just posting to let everyone know why I'm taking a break from this blog. It's too hard to write about it at this time. But I'll be back sometime soon.
Here's my girl, looking as she did more than a year ago, before the disease had really taken it's toll on her.
